501: Spiritual Psychology For Strong Club Culture w/ Crystal Thomas

Welcome And Show Purpose

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Private Club Radio Show, the show where you can discount on life inside private golf and country clubs. I'm your host, Eddie Corby, and each episode is a real conversation with club leaders, the pros, the people, and partners who help clubs drive. We talk leadership, culture, code of beverage, member experiences, member engagement, marketing governance, and so much more. If you want practical ideas, better teams in a club experience member actual field can't talk about, you're in the right place. Now, welcome

Meet Crystal Thomas And The Big Idea

SPEAKER_00 0:30

to the show. In this episode, I am chatting with Crystal Thomas, the one and only Crystal Thomas, C A E M C M C H E Certified Association Educator, Certified Hospitality Educator, Master Club Manager, one of the few with the designation. She has been G M, CEO, C O O C E O. She's ran the Golden State chapter for many, many years. She has now passed that on to Lindsay, who's doing a great job there. But me and Crystal got to chat and meet when I was doing the Golden State chapters at spring conference, and we had great conversations. Usually in the mornings, we were the first ones uh at breakfast of usually a very early riser when it comes to uh shows and em seeing. So uh that's where we got to chatting a uh uh a lot. You know, she learned about me and my background, I learned about her and her background, and I was like, this is amazing. We need to have a great conversation on private club radio. And here we are. In this conversation, we go a little bit deeper than just the normal club operations because I think a lot of people think club operations is where the real issues are, but a lot of it, as we all know, comes from the people, comes from the personalities. And we go a little bit deeper in this episode. So we talk about spiritual psychology, which Crystal explains not as religion, but as a way of understanding yourself, your reactions, your inner peace, and how you respond when life, when leadership, when members, when boards and staff and all of that start doing their own little tap dance around your nervous system. I think one of my favorite takeaways from this episode was the issue is never the issue. It's how we deal with the issue that becomes the issue. That's the whole episode right there. We do that on a on a mug or something. I think some of you need to put that in your office as a sticky note on your computers. Anyway, uh we talk about management versus leadership, management as systems, uh leadership as people. We talk about culture. If you don't create it, it creates itself. Uh uh And how clubs are really about recognition, connection, belonging, trust, and relationships. Crystal brings so much heart, so much wisdom, and so much joy to this episode. And I think every leader will walk away with something that they can use immediately in this episode. And it could just be me, but I feel like I can feel my blood pressure and anxiety just slowly getting calmer and slowly lowering having a conversation with her, just listening to her speak. And real quick, before I bring on Crystal, hashtag shameless plug, you know it's coming. If your club is looking for one of the most fun member event nights, you have the Denny Corby experience. There's excitement, there's mystery, also there's magic, mind reading, and comedy, a ton of laughs, gasps, and holy crap. We are now booking into the fall and into 2027. Uh a couple of fall dates left. If you want to learn more, head on over to DennyCorby.com. Perform for well over 350 clubs, so many reviews and testimonials on the website and videos. Check it out, learn more. And while you're there, if you're feeling a little burnt out, why don't you come burn out with me and 50 other of your peers in New York this September? I'm putting on, again, this year, year number two management in motion. It's where we rip up BMWs at the Montecello Motor Club M2s, threes and fours, drifting, drag racing, high-speed laps, all the fun, all the engagement, all the adrenaline, but more importantly, in between the adrenaline, in between the driving is educational sessions run by you and your peers on how they use their own motions to lead every day at their clubs and in their lives personally and professionally. Because what a better way to learn than when your brain is already firing on all cylinders, pun intended, of course. If you want to learn more, we are more than halfway sold out. We have about 20 seats left. Head on over to DennyCorby.com slash management in motion or just dennycorby.com, it's right there at the top. It is so much fun guaranteed. Just like my shows. It's all about fun and trying new things and having a great time. And speaking of a great time, private club radio listeners, let's welcome to the show, Crystal Thomas. I'm just thrilled that you would even come on uh and and and chat with us and all this. But uh, because you you are also very rare. Like you have a great pile of your own gifts, you know, club operator, education, uh, educator, association leader, uh, culture builder. And the the part that really stuck out was a master's degree in spiritual psychology. So so so what is so I think my first question is to you, it's it's one question, but three. It's what is spirituality to you, what is psychology to you, and then what is spiritual psychology?

SPEAKER_01 5:23

Well,

Spiritual Psychology As Inner Peace

SPEAKER_01 5:24

what it's not is religion to me. It is a belief in a higher power, and you call it whatever you want to call it. I believe we all believe that there is something more out there that brings out the sun, brings out the moon, brings all the beauty, brings the seasons, whatever that is, and call it what you will. But there's really one person or I pardon me, one entity or one, whatever you want to call it, in charge of it all. And many different religions will claim all of that to their deity. Okay, good, whatever. I I'm just not hung up on any of that. Um, but I see it as a higher power that runs everything, which means that I'm never in the driver's seat. And when I think I'm in the driver's seat, that's when I fall flat on my face. And so I always have the opportunity to check in with that higher power. Um, and I spend a lot of my life in gratitude. So what it is for me is it's um a real the the classwork actually, the degree in spiritual psychology, it's a two-year program. And it was uh my particular one was done through the University of Santa Monica, and they were not an accredited school, and they did everything they could not to be accredited. Um I like that. It was taught by doctors, but if in fact they had gone the accredited route, we would never have got the education that we got. So, could you go on and do a PhD without an accredited master's degree? Yeah, you could at certain schools, you absolutely could. Um but anyhow, it was very experiential, and it was the real inner search of self uh was what this was really um really about, and it's soul-centered education. And it it basically comes from inner peace is where we're at. That's our homeostasis as inner peace, and anything that comes along in there that disrupts that inner peace, the challenge, what happened to you, what whatever it would be, that's a real disruptor to our inner peace. So it's now what we do to get back to our inner peace, because that's given to us. Each one of us has inner peace if we choose to live there. And then, like I say, we get all these disruptors all day long. So I spent two years basically working to bring myself, and I'm not always there, let me tell you, but to bring myself into this inner peace and to know that I get to own that and that that's fine if I want it. And there's a book, um, Man's Search for Meaning.

SPEAKER_00 8:39

Victor Frankel.

SPEAKER_01 8:41

Victor Frankel, yes. So you know the book well. You by the way, it used to cost $6.99. I just bought it for somebody, and I think it was like $13 or something now.

SPEAKER_00 8:53

I I started listening to it, and then I was like, this is way too deep. I need to like read this. So now I have like the physical copy that I didn't get to yet, but it's like on the ever-growing list of what this, you know.

SPEAKER_01 9:08

So this story of Victor was not a story, it's it's a life accounting of a journal almost. Of uh Victor Frankel, who I believe he was a psychologist, uh psychiatrist, and he was in Auschwitz.

SPEAKER_00 9:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:23

And nothing in this book talks about Auschwitz and the um treatment and the uh that's not what this book's about. The book is about things happening to him that he could not control, whatever that thing was. And then there was an outcome, and from whatever happened to that outcome, he recognized that the peace in between there was his, he owned that peace in between, and that is where he got the opportunity to make a decision as to how he was going to respond. So we have this thing happen, it is in our response as to what's going to create the outcome. Now you talk about the piece that happened for you. There are how many centers that there could have been to create different outcomes. The thing happened, like that's what happened. But then you had full control in that moment of that center to go left, right, up, down, north, south, east, west, whatever it was going to be to change that outcome. And you took in that the best road that you knew to create the best outcome that you could create. So one of the things that we talk about in spiritual psychology is the issue is never the issue. It's always how we deal with the issue. That's the issue.

SPEAKER_00 11:14

Have you been sharing this and yeah, obviously, this this and you've this must have been a this must have been you before this? Like this, is this like part of just your MO? Have you always sort of been the sort of mindset mentality way of being? Because you've been, you know, club leader, you know, you've you've uh have ran ran this uh uh Golden State chapter for many, many years, in club leadership for many, many years. Was that always part of your MO? Or and this this is me asking, this is me just being curious, is because it's either I've found sometimes it's people have always been that way, or there is a shift and something happened. Some sort of life bulb, and maybe they always were, but there was a bigger shift or a moment that really helped put them over the edge to become and be

Viktor Frankl And Owning Your Response

SPEAKER_00 12:07

as open and giving and kind of with this mindset.

SPEAKER_01 12:11

Yeah. You know, I never thought about it because you just keep going through life, and many times in life you stop and you say, Why am I doing this? What's the importance of this? And then you don't know until later what the importance of that was, but there's nothing you're doing in your path that isn't important for your future, or you wouldn't be doing it. And it's a skill you're acquiring, it's a habit you're acquiring, whatever it is that later will support you. And it'll either support you in moving forward with that thing or not. Like it might be that you don't do it because you did do that and it's supporting you in knowing the difference between what you should be doing and not doing, or maybe you've had a path change, whatever that is. But you know, I go back to 1979, and of course, in 1979, I never looked at it this way, but or looked to say, oh yeah, wasn't that a bright thought? Um, in 1979, I was pregnant with my daughter, and things went south really fast. Like when my mom came to the hospital, um, she walked up to whatever the desk was, and they said, Yeah, that announcement just now was for your daughter. They called a code on me. So things weren't going so well in the delivery room. I'll spare you all of that. I ended up in the hospital 21 days. My daughter, I was sorry, I was in 20. My daughter was in 21 days. She was born a month premature, uh, now the brightest, brightest person on the on the planet. But imagine how many years ago to being born a month early and complications and whatever. I ended up quarantined with a double staff pneumonia. Uh, and that was just the start of it. They and they hadn't seen that in so long, they didn't identify it at first. So, anyhow, I'm in there, and um, and I'm in and out of consciousness because of all the drugs that they have me on, uh, Demerolomorphine, um, yeah, and take it from there. A doctor came in and said to me, now I have not a lot of recollection, I will tell you that, of this whole time, but this stands out. And the doctor said to me, Crystal, we have to remove the bottom third of your right lung. I said, Okay. I said, uh, can this get any worse? He said, No, it can't get any worse. You know what Crystal says? Well, then it can only get better. So it can't get any worse. Well, it's only got to get better. No, we're not doing a surgery on the bottom third of my bottom lung. That's not gonna happen because it's gonna get better. I'm here. I have two lungs intact. So and I didn't know any of that, like I have no idea where that direction, where that guidance came from at the time. Yeah, I just knew they couldn't operate. Um clearly, they knew they couldn't operate on me without my permission. And so I have two lungs, I don't have staph pneumonia. My daughter is 47 years old, and life goes on. So I guess that looking back, if I ever had to look at the start of a journey of really believing something that maybe you can't even see, but you know that there's something higher, there's something bigger, there's something more than what's being presented, and you take that road. A lot of risk in that road, but I took it.

SPEAKER_00 16:10

Tons.

SPEAKER_01 16:11

Yeah. So I think that that was probably the basis for it. And today, where I live my life, and I've lived it ever since then, and through, and so that's the long way around to have you always been this way through all of these things. Yes, the message I carry is a message of love, and and I will sign professional documents, love crystal. It's like, what the who, what? But our membership, like the Golden State chapter, they're used to seeing a love crystal whatever come out. Um, we have a full love campaign. You were part of our love button campaign that we that we have. Yeah, we're all going for our love buttons here. Um I guess I could put mine on right now, and I've got an extra one that I could send over to you. There we go. Yeah. And as we put on our love button, we think about sending peace, love, and harmony out into this most amazing world. And can we not use that today? So love has been a big part of it. Also, when I look at you, Danny Corby, or you look at me, the thing I'd like for you to see uh or ask the question is, is Denny living into his highest potential? I would like Danny to be looking at Crystal, saying, Is Crystal living into her highest potential? Because is there anything really, is there really anything more in this life?

SPEAKER_00 17:49

Just being the best you could be. It was um we uh so uh Florida chapter had uh Kevin Brown come and speak. I don't know if you saw him at World Conference a few a few years ago, but he didn't know.

SPEAKER_01 18:02

I didn't, but I sure heard about the hero effect.

SPEAKER_00 18:05

And like the one like the biggest takeaways that I took from it was your opinion doesn't have to be your opinion of uh uh your opinion doesn't have to be their future, or someone's opinion of you doesn't have to be your future. That was it. Someone's opinion of you doesn't have to be your future.

SPEAKER_01 18:27

Your future. Think think back to school, pick a grade, getting closer to grade 12, and there is a know it all. Um, I don't I don't remember what they're called. Oh, they're called the guidance counselor who sits with you to tell, I don't know if they sit with you or your parents, but they either tell you what a lameless, low life you're going to be, and they should get your jail cell reserved now, or they are going to just talk about what a brainiac you are and the degree you should have when you come out of that school, whatever that school is. Okay, that's all great, but you've also got to look at the framework from where that came. And too many people get, and you've heard people talk about that so much. Well, was I when I was in whatever grade, and then they said that, and then this and then that, and you know, I believed this for a long time that I was never going to amount to anything, or that I was gonna be the queen of the world, or whatever. And it's really that opinion that you're not gonna be somebody else's opinion, and unfortunately, that was a paid opinion. And how many families lived into that? How many people, a few people, yeah, I was told I was gonna be a deadbeat and I became the whatever. But um, but how many people, yeah, I was told I was gonna be a deadbeat, so I was one. Or I was, you know, the other side is great too. If you could be the superstar and then you became a superstar, okay, maybe you're closer to living into your full potential. But whose potential is your potential? Like, is it your? Do you know from a deep place that this is the road you're meant to walk? Or has somebody else planted that? You should be a doctor because, well, your grandfather was a doctor, your father was a doctor, so you should be a doctor. Is that where it's coming from? Because that may not be your potential. Um, and your potential could be something maybe much bigger than a doctor, or maybe much more meaningful and not necessarily calculated on that scale of hierarchy of, oh, a doctor's here and uh whatever's here, and you know, so so that's a really, really strong statement that he makes.

SPEAKER_00 21:13

So how does this then show up in clubs? Right. And like how do we so how does this show up in clubs? Like, how does this show up on Thursday morning when the employee comes in with an issue or the member comes in? Like now, how does how does it show up? Is there a question? Like, is there like a first question you always ask? Uh and and I and I I I I go to like issue, like like problem because that's I think where people then go, like, oh, here we go. Like, so you know, this is all great. Now it's Friday morning, someone's like, you know, listening to like this episode, like, okay, all of this sounds amazing. Somebody comes in, like, how does it relate to like real actual stuff? So, like, how do you have like a framework for? If somebody comes in with something, do you say, like, hey, time out? Take a breath. Let me ask you, like, do you have like a certain set of like, do you have a repertoire? Like, like I know certain things. So to me, I always try to like relate a little bit. Like, I know how to like take certain things. Like, I know, okay, this is the scenario. Okay, I think I'll start with this and then I'll go here and then here. Do you have a similar thing? Like, okay, I think they're here. We have to bring it to here and then end with that. Like, how, like, how is this real world usable stuff?

SPEAKER_01 22:32

Yeah. So I never think about that

A Near Death Wake Up Call

SPEAKER_01 22:35

because I know whatever I need in the moment will come through me. I know that. And it's kind of like as an aside, I never worry about being ready for something because I have a belief that I will always be ready. So I'm always ready. And I guess sometimes that's just as ready as I need to be in the moment, I guess. But so I don't, but I don't take the time to stop me and slow me down to worry about, oh, I don't think I'm gonna be ready for that. And I better, so I'm you know, I'm using this brain power over here worrying about if I'm gonna be ready. I don't do that anymore. I just like know I'm I'm gonna be there. So now just get ready to be there. And so with that, when I'm talking, it doesn't matter who it is or what it's about, there's usually two components. So I don't have like a structure that I'm gonna follow, it's just gonna be what it is, and it's always got an ending, so I know that's gonna happen. And but usually if you dissect whatever it is, that I that piece I said about the issue is never the issue, it's about how you deal with the issue. That's usually the whole thing right there. So there's usually a component maybe of operation, like there's a system or uh something failed, or um, the memory forgot something, or whatever as part of it. But the other part is always the human part of how I dealt with it or how I'm dealing with it. And there could be the humanness side of our limiting beliefs coming in, or it could be our something that happened to us in the past that triggers something. So you could have a response to something that is way bigger or way different than somebody else might have in that same situation, just based on their life experiences. So separating those two, like what really is the issue? Is there even really an issue here, or is it just how we're dealing with the non-issue or the issue? And then working on that human side. So trying to separate them to see okay how, because if you just take them all at once, you've got emotion, and you probably have some sort of a a challenge that is more related to systems, and the two combined that never works. So separating those two out and dealing with them individually.

unknown 25:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:21

How did you bring all this into the chapter? I I would assume this brought a lot of calmness and the word calmness just comes over, but I feel like you would you bring like a lot of calmness to the chapter and the meetings and things. And and I uh uh I only know you from like you know, just doing the California chapter now. I didn't see you in in your you know, in like the previous years and all that stuff, but I I what I would assume for the meetings and all that stuff, you would bring like a nice calmness and uh the word is calmness, just like sticks. I have no other word there, but yeah, yeah, calmness.

SPEAKER_01 25:55

Yeah. I always wanted to um lead from a place of strength and get enough um credibility. I always wanted to be credible in what I brought forward because sometimes I'd come up with some kind of wing-nut ideas, yeah. But it got to where probably the wingier the better. Yeah, let's go. And I've always had such amazing boards if we're talking about the chapter. Yeah, like I remember at the beginning of COVID. Of course, I knew everything, right? I had all the solutions. COVID was gonna last six weeks, yeah, not okay. So get past that, Crystal. But um, I had my team and we work on contract for the chapter. And my president said to me, and I'm not usually that good on my feet, and my president said to me at the time, he said, So what are you planning to do with your team? Or with what are we planning to do with the team? I have people asking, you know, clubs are cutting back their teams and whatever. How do you plan to cut your team back? And I was like, Whoa. I said, Oh, well, you have to remember you don't have a team, you have an agreement, and so I'm gonna hold to the agreement, you're gonna hold to the agreement, and we are gonna really do some amazing things during this pandemic. What I was gonna do, I didn't know, but I knew it would be amazing. Then I went to my team and I said, Okay, we need some good stuff, sorry. Well, yeah, but before that, I said, first thing is I want you to know none of you are gonna worry about your paychecks, you're gonna be paid through this entire time, and which was six weeks, by the way, in my mind. Um, but you're all gonna be paid, so don't even think about that. If any of you have any shortfall right now and you need supplies in your house and you can't bring them in, we talk about it individually, and you use a company credit card to go buy what you need. Because I wanted everybody feeling like they were looked after. And then I said, and then what we're gonna do is now we're gonna create a plan that's gonna be the strongest plan, and we're gonna bring our chapter through. And that's exactly what we did because people didn't have to worry then about oh gee, will my family be able to eat? Oh, but I did also put the caveat in there that if you screw yourself up, I can't help you. Yeah, and we did have one that did, and she didn't make it with us through through everybody else didn't made it, and you know, we have an amazing team. We have an amazing, amazing team. And um, and you saw that, Danny. You saw the people working, even the students who came, they become part of our team while we're working, and that is the best education when they get to come and be, and you notice they get to come, they don't have to come.

SPEAKER_00 29:10

And they're excited, they're happy to help.

SPEAKER_01 29:13

And it's the best education they get in their whole time at school because they're boots on the ground. They talk about experiential. My, oh my, it's just wonderful for them. And we take time to debrief with them and work with them, but our whole team works like we're one and we're there for the members, yeah. And uh, so the idea of how we bring things into the chapter, and we've always wanted to be a bit of a step ahead. I've always been, I don't know, I get I think I was born an entrepreneur, I just didn't know it. And um, and my dad was uh owned a car dealership. Say anymore. We good. Oh no, it was a four dealership, but like, you know, like yeah, I must have got some of that in me. I don't know. My brother knows the car dealership, uh, the car dealer, and he owns the largest dealership in Western Canada.

SPEAKER_00 30:16

That's so cool.

SPEAKER_01 30:17

Yeah, and so there's a whole string of it there. So I come by some of this naturally too. And uh, but it just it just works. And you know, our chapter has done some pretty amazing things, and the board, so we've

Potential And Other People’s Opinions

SPEAKER_01 30:33

had, like I said earlier, but incredible boards, incredible committees, and they have just gotten behind whatever. Like, how often would you sit with your board and talk about the intention for how much money you're going to raise in the virtual auction? So let's set the intention now for this much money and for whatever and go through this process. Most would be like, Yeah, get her, hook her and get her off the stage. But that's where it starts, and you know, strong intention. And so we set a lot of intention in our chapter for different things, and our board's right behind it.

SPEAKER_00 31:13

Intention sets the direction.

unknown 31:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:16

Because even when all even when the plan fails or goes off track, whatever, the intention stays the same.

SPEAKER_01 31:24

Or the intention is not strong enough to keep it on track. That's the other thing. And so sometimes you have to go back and readjust that. Could be one of the two.

SPEAKER_00 31:36

Yeah. Yeah. No, I I like, I really like what you said to your board going back. Because if if you're gonna take, if you're gonna have to now go, okay, guys, we gotta figure this out. If they're internally going, I gotta figure my own crap out, how am I, you know, if they're internally struggling or worrying, you have to, you know, they have to feel safe and secure because now the ideas will flow naturally. They they'll probably be more open. I'm sure the ideas that you got in whatever happened during whatever you guys did during the pandemic, that was probably because they felt safe, they felt seen, they felt secure because they knew if they needed something, whatever, like they had they had like a safety net.

SPEAKER_01 32:18

Well, and it just became, you know, it just works like this. It just goes round and round. Life goes round and round. And we you just get behind it more and more, and the more you get behind it, the more members jump on board, the more you know, and everybody's on board and everybody's moving in the same direction. Because, you know, ultimately, this is about all it's about. It's not about all those things, conferences and golf tournaments and and and educations and this and that. It's simply about recognition of people. That's all it's about, it's just people, and everybody wants to show their best, everybody wants to achieve the most they can. But again, many of us are stuck in our achievement because of our limiting beliefs, and so sometimes it's supporting somebody through something that's really difficult. Like some of the phone calls I would get from a member, some of them were personal, some were um job related. 10 o'clock Sunday night. I just lost my job. Okay, and you know what can we do from there? Um, or I'm going through a divorce, or my son has or daughter or whatever has some disease, or you know, it doesn't matter what it is, we're all in this together. Yeah, and people want to feel supported. Like, why do people belong to a private club? It's a member, they want to feel love, they want to feel protected, they want to feel acknowledged, and of course, they want what they want while they're there as well. And hopefully that won't include the rubber chicken, you know. But um, but the it's it's all it's about is people, and it's never about the transactional aspect, it's always about the relationship.

SPEAKER_00 34:22

Is there a difference between leading and managing?

SPEAKER_01 34:26

Yes, I yeah, huge. I mean, the management part is about the well, this is the world according to Crystal, okay. But the management part is the this is the structural, the operational systems part of it. And you get all of those things into place. So that's the management, and your managing is every system working, basically. Then you've got the leadership side, and the leadership side is about the people, and then when you talk about the leadership side, that's where the culture comes in, and the culture exists, and the culture either exists because you've created it, or the culture exists because you haven't created it and it has created itself, but it will exist. And if you haven't created it and it's created itself, it's much more difficult to

Using Spiritual Psychology In Club Conflicts

SPEAKER_01 35:19

look after and manage. And and uh and again, culture is a system. I would call culture a system in that, but but uh yeah, I see a real distinction between the two.

SPEAKER_00 35:35

I'll start the wrap this up because I know you have uh very important days to do to get ahead to. Um what uh where to go? Is there anything that hasn't changed in clubs that people keep trying to fix?

SPEAKER_01 35:51

I think that if we were well, the thing that is the same always and yet different. So the same, same but different, I guess, would be the people. They all want the same thing, they they want a context of why they're there, they want to trust, um, they want to feel the purpose, they want to be able to give feedback, they want to feel the love and the acknowledgement. What we keep trying to fix is a system by which to do that. And yet, this is a people side of it, it's not a system side of it necessarily. So it becomes um we spin our wheels a lot in what could have been just an eye-to-eye, a heart-to-heart, good conversation. Oh, yeah, well, no, there's a we can get a system to recognize um our members when they come in. We can read their license plate number, we can um we have their names recorded, whatever it is. But if that love can be there, you know, even if I called you by the wrong name, if you knew that I was really well intended and it was really coming from my heart, you'd figure out a way to get past that. And do you know what? I'd never call you by the wrong name twice. That would be my learning in it.

SPEAKER_00 37:23

Yeah. Whether it's the chapter or clubs, what was the hardest part about your job that nobody sees or saw?

SPEAKER_01 37:32

I think the idea of responsibility and authority. So and I teach this a lot, and I ask you this, I ask many people this question. I know you've got all the responsibility, but do you have the authority to manage all that responsibility? And that I see a lot, you know, when you hear of clubs where you've got uh member managers who go in and they're micromanaged to the gnat's eyelash. And they've got all the responsibility, it all falls on their shoulders. But there's no way they could let that team member go because that team member's been there for 25 years and he or she is the favorite of the club and whatever as one example. Right. But is there is there um some equality in the level of responsibility to the authority that you have for that responsibility? And that that has always been a really, really big one.

SPEAKER_00 38:44

That was good, yeah. Because how yeah, how many boards or how many managers, you know, oh the XYZ, but then when they go tell the board, oh yeah, no, we're not gonna let them go, we're gonna keep them. Or X I I remember a club, I'm not not even gonna say where, um, but there was uh some some uh uh a uh GM left because um he he left on his own because he wanted to get rid of a member for some uh Russian hands and Roman fingers with a uh with a fellow employee. And he was a very yes, and he wanted to get rid of the member. The board said uh no. He goes, I'm out. And like him and like three team members left.

SPEAKER_01 39:35

Probably the smartest move that members ever done, uh, that that uh GM and the team members have ever taken. Because really it gets to be um, you know, we always have to question alignment. How aligned are we with what we're working with? Do we really believe that? And so if we're not aligned, we just shouldn't be there. That's dirty money. So we step away from it. Yeah, and many people live in so there's this quadrant that I always think about. So if you had a piece of paper and you put the word abundance at the top on the vertical line, and you put lack at the bottom of that vertical line, and on the horizontal line on the left, you put the word love, and on the other end of that vertical line, you put the word fear. So you've got abundance and lack and love and fear. And I'm always thinking about what quadrant, first of all, what quadrant am I in today? Because it moves all the time. Um, where am I thinking from? Where am I acting from? And usually it starts with the thought of, oh no, we can't do it, we can't afford that. Okay, well, that's definitely lack. Okay, so we're thinking from lack, and then are we afraid of it then? So we're down in that fourth quadrant, or well, I'm afraid of it, but I love it, so I'm over in this quadrant. At least that's better than being over here. So where where am I in all of this? And and the idea of um where we think from, and then how well all that aligns with everything we're doing is pretty pretty important. But it was very easy, and you get somebody who walks in and they're just really, really upset about something, and you just do a quick check on your quadrant where they are, then you know where to respond to them from. So if they're coming from lack or they're coming from fear, you can maybe support them back a little bit further because love and fear or abundance and lack are the same thing, just different ends of the spectrum. So, how do we move you on a spectrum?

SPEAKER_00 41:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:57

And and then work with your people from there.

SPEAKER_00 42:01

I'm so good. I'm so good, Crystal. Thank you so much for your time. I know you have such a busy schedule. I'm so happy we were able to schedule this. Thank you so much for coming on the show. I truly genuinely appreciate it.

SPEAKER_01 42:14

Thank you for the invitation. This has been awesome, and it was so wonderful getting a chance to meet you in person at our spring conference in um in May. That was lovely.

SPEAKER_00 42:26

So that was a that was a great time. That was a great time. You you guys went out of your way. It was a fantastic event.

SPEAKER_01 42:33

Well, and you keep rocking it the way that only Denny Corby rocked it. So thank you.

SPEAKER_00 42:39

Crystal, thank you so much for coming on. I genuinely appreciate all the insights, all the amazing work that you do, not just for your association, not just for the clubs, but for world, life, and people in general. Thank you for being here. If you want to learn more about the Denny Corby experience or management emotion, head over to Denny Corby.com. Until next time, I'm your host, Dedny Corby. Catch y'all on the Flippy Cliff.